Ack! I have been writing my story for about ten weeks and I have to say, it occasionally makes me feel a little raw. I have really struggled in my relationship with my Dad this week and I don't think it can be removed from my writing about first moving in with him. It was such a hard way to live, such an unsafe and stressful life during those days. It is hard to write about it and not be effected. On top of that, I am again struggling with the fear that I will be just like him, that my kids will not feel safe around me. While my intensity was one of the things that attracted Cathy to me, it definitely can interfere in our relationship.
Additionally, I hate that I put off so many people with that intensity. Don't get me wrong, I like who I am, I just wish I could chill out a little about the little things. God has granted me so much grace in this life, with my wife and kids, with my friends. I just want to give some of that back and not seem too harsh, too overbearing, too ogre-ish. Anyway, I needed to get that out, so thanks for reading it.
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