Julie was only in town for a weekend which really worked out for me, since I was not looking for a new girlfriend. That weekend was the beginning of a fun summer, the last in which I had the luxury of having no cares. Some would say that I no longer had that luxury, but I was blissfully unaware of any care I may have had. That Monday I began working at a Pizza place with some friends. Troy was a guy who had gone to a local private school but knew some other friends from Karate. He was a charismatic guy who had the same effect on girls even though neither of us were attractive or had much to offer. We chased skirts together the entire summer, everybody liked Troy and Troy, for some reason, liked me. Troy later went into the US Army as an officer and now is a special agent for the FBI. no joke. Our other compatriot during that summer was a guy I had played football with, Lee. Lee was a large guy and neither of us had been starters, but we got along well and he was funny.
Troy, Lee and I spent a great deal of time together that summer and it was fun. At the end of June, one of our times together, I met a girl named Kim who I took a fancy to (what a weird phrase, but I will leave it). A bunch of us had gone to the movies together to see St. Elmo's Fire and since seven of us had gone, we each identified with different characters. Troy was Judd Nelson's character and I was Rob Lowe's, if you know the movie, you will see this was not a compliment really for either of us. The next week, Troy, Lee and I went to Troy's family reunion in central California. While we were gone, I had a dream that Kim cheated on me and called her to tell her that I was mad at her. This may seem odd behavior, but it was par for the course and she was less than happy with it. A few days after we got back, I decided to hang out with some of my other friends. During the time with Troy and Lee, I did not party because they did not party. Hanging out with my old friends was a mistake and I got hammered, got in a fight, peed through an open window into a guy's car I didn't like and fell asleep in a hot tub. Someone jumped in a pulled me out to keep me from drowning. He took me to a lounge chair, where I laid down and my friends proceeded to wrap me in toilet paper and pour beer on me. This is what we did to friends.
I ended that party with a three day hangover, which I believe is called alcohol poisoning and when two days later I went to Denny's with my non-partying friends, I was informed that Kim was still mad about my response to a dream. I called her up and dumped her for not being understanding. The summer was quickly heading toward its end and many of my friends were headed off to college. Most people knew I had received a 1310 on my SAT, and I had told everyone I was accepted to USC. Since I had not applied to anything, who knows if I would have been accepted. The bloom fell off my rose with the family I was staying with when I stayed out all night without calling once and by the end of the summer, I had begged Mom to let me move back in with her and she complied. It didn't last long.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
busy bee
I am sorry to say I have been interrupted every time I have tried to write my story for the week. Not a complaint, just a reality. It does take time to think about it and put it down in the journal here, so I need a small block of time to work on it. I am hoping to get to this week's part by the weekend. Here's hoping.
On another note, I have decided, after telling my Mom that she did not want to read my blog for months, to invite her to read away. I love her dearly and realize that some of the things I have related could be embarassing for her, or she may not agree with their accuracy. However, I want her to have the opportunity and freedom to respond to what I think about my life without any fear of my judging her. I sincerely hope that none of it hurts her feelings. One of the things that has stunned me about writing out my story has been that I have realized that the past has no hold on me once I get it out. Again, I want to state that these are my memories and no one has perfect memories, but it is the way I remember it. I have also realized that as the story goes on, I am less and less sure of what a horrible childhood I had...it was not all bad and whether I admitted it or not, God was there the whole time taking care of me. I struggle with seeing value in what I am doing in this, after that realization. But, somewhere deep inside there are two things: I said I would finish my story & It has made me feel better about myself to get these things out. Some of my feelings about my past, after I write them out, are clearly not an accurate perception. They are often very self-protective, self-effacing or self-promoting. I leave them the way I first wrote them (how I felt about it) because I am not ashamed to say that is what I thought at the time. My prayer is that God will continue to change me to see the world with clarity and see people as He sees them, with love instead of judgement.
On another note, I have decided, after telling my Mom that she did not want to read my blog for months, to invite her to read away. I love her dearly and realize that some of the things I have related could be embarassing for her, or she may not agree with their accuracy. However, I want her to have the opportunity and freedom to respond to what I think about my life without any fear of my judging her. I sincerely hope that none of it hurts her feelings. One of the things that has stunned me about writing out my story has been that I have realized that the past has no hold on me once I get it out. Again, I want to state that these are my memories and no one has perfect memories, but it is the way I remember it. I have also realized that as the story goes on, I am less and less sure of what a horrible childhood I had...it was not all bad and whether I admitted it or not, God was there the whole time taking care of me. I struggle with seeing value in what I am doing in this, after that realization. But, somewhere deep inside there are two things: I said I would finish my story & It has made me feel better about myself to get these things out. Some of my feelings about my past, after I write them out, are clearly not an accurate perception. They are often very self-protective, self-effacing or self-promoting. I leave them the way I first wrote them (how I felt about it) because I am not ashamed to say that is what I thought at the time. My prayer is that God will continue to change me to see the world with clarity and see people as He sees them, with love instead of judgement.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Part XXXVI
The week started out rough as it was. Mom had to go down and pay a couple of hundred dollars to the school just so I could graduate. I had kept my football jersey; had done a candy drive, and spent the money; as well as a couple of other things I did not hold up my end of. On Tuesday she told me I had to be out of her house by Saturday, two days after graduation. I mentioned this at school and people asked what I was going to do and I said, "I don't know." I wasn't really thinking too clearly, but as far as Naomi was concerned, it was unimportant because I was moving to Honolulu with her. On Wednesday night they held our Baccalaureate service at Stanford University Chapel. My brother and his girlfriend came into town that day and we all drove to Stanford together. For those of you who don't know Palo Alto in the 80's, it was an interesting ride. You see, if you turn one way off the freeway, you are in the Palo Alto people think they know...multi-million dollar homes, high end shops and the like. But, if you turn the wrong way, the other way, you end up in East Palo Alto. During the 1980's many people thought South Central Los Angeles, or South Side Chicage or some other area had the highest murder and crime rate. Well, they were wrong, it was the tiny third-world region in the midst of great wealth known as East Palo Alto. We went the wrong way and had an adventure, but I will save that story for another time. Eventually, we made it to Stanford.
After the service, two sisters I knew from Choir and their mother walked up to me and offered to let me move into their house for the summer. I responded by telling them I would get back to them. Naomi was right next to me, but it did not occur to me that this would be a problem. Well, it was. When we got home, she started the conversation with, "I don't want to make you mad, but F%#$ You!" There were so many problems with this statement that it mad my head spin. First of all, "I don't want to make you mad"? Tell that to the next phrase you utter. Also, save the F You for later in the argument when it can punctuate your point. I just didn't know what to do with the curse that early in the conversation. I wasn't even prepared with a F you too. Instead, I grabbed my brother and told him I needed a drive to calm me down and he and I drove around for an hour or so and then headed back so I could deal with whatever her problem was. When we arrived, Naomi was gone. She had called my friend Mark and he had picked her up. I did not know until the next day that she was not coming back, so I waited up the night before my graduation to have our talk. I was less than pleased in the morning.
When I got to school, Mark came up to let me know it was not his idea that she did not come back and I told him it was a bad idea to get in between our spat. That was it, no more problem with Mark. Guys are so shallow that we can forgive some pretty big things, so long as there is a guy explanation. He had taken her to his girlfriend's house and she stayed there. I did not see her again until she came over for my graduation. Since I did not want to discuss it during my celebration, we really didn't talk much. I have pictures of the two of us together at graduation but I don't remember saying a word to her. We had dinner and presents afterward, and then I went to my grad night, all-night celebration. I got home about 4am and slept on the couch, while she was asleep in my bedroom. I guess my brother went to play golf and sometime around 11am I heard my Mom and Darin's girlfriend leaving and telling Naomi to let me sleep. About one minute later, she said, "are you awake?" Of course I was so I said yes. She asked to talk about what happened and I said I had nothing to say. She said she didn't want to end that way and I told her she should have thought of that the other night. I didn't see Naomi again for over a year.
That evening, I threw all my stuff into a friend's car and moved into the house of the family that had invited me. They had a celebratory end of school pool party and I found an interest in a girl named Julie, who I hooked up with at the party. I was quite the guy for a rebound, and though Julie did not know me yet, all my friends saw this as my pattern of skipping from one romance to the next without a care for the one I left behind. I would say they were accurate at that time of my life.
After the service, two sisters I knew from Choir and their mother walked up to me and offered to let me move into their house for the summer. I responded by telling them I would get back to them. Naomi was right next to me, but it did not occur to me that this would be a problem. Well, it was. When we got home, she started the conversation with, "I don't want to make you mad, but F%#$ You!" There were so many problems with this statement that it mad my head spin. First of all, "I don't want to make you mad"? Tell that to the next phrase you utter. Also, save the F You for later in the argument when it can punctuate your point. I just didn't know what to do with the curse that early in the conversation. I wasn't even prepared with a F you too. Instead, I grabbed my brother and told him I needed a drive to calm me down and he and I drove around for an hour or so and then headed back so I could deal with whatever her problem was. When we arrived, Naomi was gone. She had called my friend Mark and he had picked her up. I did not know until the next day that she was not coming back, so I waited up the night before my graduation to have our talk. I was less than pleased in the morning.
When I got to school, Mark came up to let me know it was not his idea that she did not come back and I told him it was a bad idea to get in between our spat. That was it, no more problem with Mark. Guys are so shallow that we can forgive some pretty big things, so long as there is a guy explanation. He had taken her to his girlfriend's house and she stayed there. I did not see her again until she came over for my graduation. Since I did not want to discuss it during my celebration, we really didn't talk much. I have pictures of the two of us together at graduation but I don't remember saying a word to her. We had dinner and presents afterward, and then I went to my grad night, all-night celebration. I got home about 4am and slept on the couch, while she was asleep in my bedroom. I guess my brother went to play golf and sometime around 11am I heard my Mom and Darin's girlfriend leaving and telling Naomi to let me sleep. About one minute later, she said, "are you awake?" Of course I was so I said yes. She asked to talk about what happened and I said I had nothing to say. She said she didn't want to end that way and I told her she should have thought of that the other night. I didn't see Naomi again for over a year.
That evening, I threw all my stuff into a friend's car and moved into the house of the family that had invited me. They had a celebratory end of school pool party and I found an interest in a girl named Julie, who I hooked up with at the party. I was quite the guy for a rebound, and though Julie did not know me yet, all my friends saw this as my pattern of skipping from one romance to the next without a care for the one I left behind. I would say they were accurate at that time of my life.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
so sorry
As I just posted part 35, I realized that I had only posted 3 times in October which is 1/3 to 1/5 of my norm. I have been really busy, but for those of you reading the story, I am truly sorry. At this rate, I should be done around April of 2014! Yay!!!
Part XXXV
In February of 1985, a dance troupe from University High School in Honolulu came to our school. We hosted them, with many of them staying at people's houses who were in choir. We actually did this fairly often for visiting performing troupes. The whole school had an assembly and we got to see Island dance first hand. During the hula routine, I leaned over to the friend who was sitting next to me and said, "the one on the end is mine." It turned out, that the girl on the end, Naomi, was staying with his girlfriend's family and we ended up spending a lot of time together. She was a very pretty girl and nicer than many folks I knew, also island people from all over the world seem to be a little more laid back about everything and I really enjoyed that. So after we had been cuddling for two or three days, I said to her, "I think I might be falling in love with you." To which her reply was, "Ahh, I love you too." And so, I began my first and last long-distance relationship. Later in the week, they continued their tour and eventually went back to Hawaii. I began racking up phone bills ranging from $150 to $380 per month.
Shortly thereafter we went on the second (for me) Chapman College trip for the singing competition. Upon our return, I was cast in the spring play, "Voices from the High School" again getting various roles about teen issues and angst. This was less than a month after the release of "the Breakfast Club" and I modeled all of my characters on Judd Nelson's character in that film, even doing a lip-synch to "Don't You Forget About Me." During the rehearsals, I ended up sort of dating a Pastor's Kid named Becca. She was sweet, nice to me and liked me a lot. She asked me in early May if I was going to ever ask her to the Senior Ball and I said "no, I am going with my girlfriend in Hawaii, I thought you knew." She did not know and she was not happy. Naomi graduated earlier than me, so she was able to visit for the last few weeks of my HS experience. She arrived the day the play opened and was surprised to see me get high right before the show. I tried to explain to her about method acting, but it carried little weight.
Naomi had really come out to help me move to Honolulu with her. I guess I told her I would, but don't really remember saying so. I was terrified of being stranded on a 40 mile wide island if things didn't work out and I would have no way to get home. A week later was my Senior Ball, which I had agreed to double with my friend Peter before I found out he had asked Becca. Apparently, he had forgotten to tell her also, because the day of Prom, she came down with a sudden sickness and was unable to go. We called my friend Laurie, who had graduated a year early the year before and was happy to attend Senior Ball with all of her former classmates. Naomi had made her own dress and my cummerbund, Laurie was a big fan of Madonna and wore a white lace thing that was poofy and really cute for the time (very dated though, it was definitely 1985). We drove up to the Sheraton Palace in San Francisco and half way through the dance, we left and took the BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) under the bay to Berkeley for ice cream. After the dance, we drove down to Half Moon Bay on the coast and Peter and Naomi wanted to walk around. The Pacific ocean up around San Francisco is cold and damp at night, heavy-laden with fog and generally un-fun in a tux. I said as much and Naomi told me I could just sit in the car, Laurie agreed with me and stayed. A few minutes later, they returned and we got home around 3am. It was a good night, a good memory, o good way to finish out high school. The next week, the week of graduation was not so much good.
Shortly thereafter we went on the second (for me) Chapman College trip for the singing competition. Upon our return, I was cast in the spring play, "Voices from the High School" again getting various roles about teen issues and angst. This was less than a month after the release of "the Breakfast Club" and I modeled all of my characters on Judd Nelson's character in that film, even doing a lip-synch to "Don't You Forget About Me." During the rehearsals, I ended up sort of dating a Pastor's Kid named Becca. She was sweet, nice to me and liked me a lot. She asked me in early May if I was going to ever ask her to the Senior Ball and I said "no, I am going with my girlfriend in Hawaii, I thought you knew." She did not know and she was not happy. Naomi graduated earlier than me, so she was able to visit for the last few weeks of my HS experience. She arrived the day the play opened and was surprised to see me get high right before the show. I tried to explain to her about method acting, but it carried little weight.
Naomi had really come out to help me move to Honolulu with her. I guess I told her I would, but don't really remember saying so. I was terrified of being stranded on a 40 mile wide island if things didn't work out and I would have no way to get home. A week later was my Senior Ball, which I had agreed to double with my friend Peter before I found out he had asked Becca. Apparently, he had forgotten to tell her also, because the day of Prom, she came down with a sudden sickness and was unable to go. We called my friend Laurie, who had graduated a year early the year before and was happy to attend Senior Ball with all of her former classmates. Naomi had made her own dress and my cummerbund, Laurie was a big fan of Madonna and wore a white lace thing that was poofy and really cute for the time (very dated though, it was definitely 1985). We drove up to the Sheraton Palace in San Francisco and half way through the dance, we left and took the BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) under the bay to Berkeley for ice cream. After the dance, we drove down to Half Moon Bay on the coast and Peter and Naomi wanted to walk around. The Pacific ocean up around San Francisco is cold and damp at night, heavy-laden with fog and generally un-fun in a tux. I said as much and Naomi told me I could just sit in the car, Laurie agreed with me and stayed. A few minutes later, they returned and we got home around 3am. It was a good night, a good memory, o good way to finish out high school. The next week, the week of graduation was not so much good.
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