When Mary and I officially broke up as she headed off to UC Santa Cruz in August, I was confronted with a strange situation. At work, some of my co-workers had told me that one of the servers, Kristine, had an interest in me. Since I was involved with Mary at the time, I thought the easiest response was, "If anything ever happens, she is the one I would like to date most out of our co-workers." So, one day in August, I came to work and let my co-workers know that Mary and I had broken up the night before so I was a little down. Even though Mary was not right for me, I still cared about her and it was hard to let things go. Much to my surprise, Kristine did not wait an hour from the time she heard about it to ask me out and I just told her I was a little raw right now and didn't want to think about dating at the moment.
Not much happened for two months. But, on Thursday, October 19th, I was feeling much better and asked Kristine if she wanted to have dinner after work. It was the year the World Series was between the SF Giants and Oakland A's. We went over to a restaurant nearby just before 5pm. Just after 5pm, the world began to shake. It had been since 1972 since we had an earthquake that bad and I was frozen in my seat while Kristine just tried to get under the table. The glass in the windows shattered, plates crashed and broke, some of the ceiling tiles fell out. Then it was over, no power, no lights (it was still bright outside), no certainty of when the aftershocks would start. Since we all lived in California, we knew they were coming, but the size and scope of the aftershocks are always a fear. Kristine drove me to my motel and dropped me off. We had no power and by some estimates, we had well over 100 aftershocks in the next few days. My motel room was on the 3rd floor and that building rocked every time an aftershock hit. It was pretty scary.
Life goes on, and after a couple of weeks, it was just another good story. The "where were you during the Loma Prieta Earthquake" stories added to the richness of conversation for some time. I heard some good ones, but those are not mine, so I will let those people tell their own stories. Things settled back to normal and a few weeks later, I began to DJ for a mobile DJ company. It was ironic since I had no car. In early November, Allan and Paul asked me if I wanted to try out a new church that our old friend and High School Pastor from Valley Church had moved on to. The church was called South Hills Community Church and it was pretty far into the South of the greater city of San Jose. To me, this was the boonies, out there, far away. But Allan picked me up and we went to the church.
I walked into a college group of more than 100 people. It was the largest and most vibrant college group I had seen at any church. At a folding table right at the door of the room were two girls who introduced themselves to me as Elisabeth Wilkes and Cathy Thompson. The entire group was very inviting, the message was pretty good and I immediately felt like it was a place I could fit in. Besides, they had really cute girls.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
sorry
Ah, what can I say? It has been a rough week and the desire to post has not been there. But, I will post today and try to post even when it feels like an impossible task. I will finish my story at some point, I promise!
Monday, April 13, 2009
LVII
Mary graduated that June and went to Illinois to visit her old friends (up until that point, I did not know they had lived in IL). Peter, Dan and I had got into a fist fight a few weeks before and they just up and moved out. My choices were to keep a 3 bedroom apartment for which I was no longer on the lease, or move out. I moved into my friend Pat's house for 2 weeks while his parents were on vacation and then moved into a motel in Sunnyvale. While Mary was gone, I bought the first car I had ever purchased at a used car lot - a 1987 Ford Escort GT which was sandalwood (according to the dealer, it looked gold to me). Unfortunately, I lied on my credit app, not wanting them to know I lived at a motel, and out Mark's address down as my address. Mark was mad at me because of the fist fight and was not really talking to me much at the time ... I did not predict that anyone would call me at the number or address I gave them.
Mary came back into town in early July of 1989 and I picked her up for a day out. Wanting to grab some snacks, we drove to the local supermarket and once inside, Mary informed me she had to use the bathroom. In my most caring way, I told her to hold it. She informed me that she could not hold it, did not use public restrooms and begged me to leave. I told her she could go sit in my car and wait and I would take her home in a munte when I was done. In retrospect, I think she have misheard my direction to SIT in the car. After buying what I wanted, I was walking toward the car in the parking lot when from a distance, I could see Mary was in the car and crying. The weirdest thought came to me, "she didn't poop in my car did she?" As soon as I opened the door, I had my answer as a rancid stench wafted out of the car. She begged me again to take her home and after checking the damage, I complied this time. There was a smeared stain across my tan cloth seats, some material down in the crevice of the seat and a hideous smell. When I dropped her off, I borrowed some upholstery cleaner from her Mom and cleaned it up as best I could...the stain never came out. When I went to tell her I was leaving, she made me promise never to tell anyone ... a promise I made but didn't even keep until an hour was up. A few days later, I also got a dent in the fender all in the first month of owning the car.
Much to my surprize, since I had not heard anything from the dealer (it didn't help that they didn't have my actual phone number), my car was re-possessed in late July less than a month after purchasing it. It never hit my credit report because they had let me drive off on the weekend without ever running my credit and they never were able to finance the car for me. If they had got a hold of me, I would have given the car back...I mean, after all, it had a brown stain on the passenger seat and smelled like crap.
Mary came back into town in early July of 1989 and I picked her up for a day out. Wanting to grab some snacks, we drove to the local supermarket and once inside, Mary informed me she had to use the bathroom. In my most caring way, I told her to hold it. She informed me that she could not hold it, did not use public restrooms and begged me to leave. I told her she could go sit in my car and wait and I would take her home in a munte when I was done. In retrospect, I think she have misheard my direction to SIT in the car. After buying what I wanted, I was walking toward the car in the parking lot when from a distance, I could see Mary was in the car and crying. The weirdest thought came to me, "she didn't poop in my car did she?" As soon as I opened the door, I had my answer as a rancid stench wafted out of the car. She begged me again to take her home and after checking the damage, I complied this time. There was a smeared stain across my tan cloth seats, some material down in the crevice of the seat and a hideous smell. When I dropped her off, I borrowed some upholstery cleaner from her Mom and cleaned it up as best I could...the stain never came out. When I went to tell her I was leaving, she made me promise never to tell anyone ... a promise I made but didn't even keep until an hour was up. A few days later, I also got a dent in the fender all in the first month of owning the car.
Much to my surprize, since I had not heard anything from the dealer (it didn't help that they didn't have my actual phone number), my car was re-possessed in late July less than a month after purchasing it. It never hit my credit report because they had let me drive off on the weekend without ever running my credit and they never were able to finance the car for me. If they had got a hold of me, I would have given the car back...I mean, after all, it had a brown stain on the passenger seat and smelled like crap.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Part LVI
Shortly after returning to Santa Clara, I began working a job as the Banquet bar Supervisor at Velvet Turtle in San Jose. For those of you who do not know of the Velvet Turtle, it is far less cheesy than it sounds. It was an upscale dinner-house with multiple banquet rooms and my first real taste of catering, banquets and events was formed out of this experience. Initially, I only worked on events in which a bar was needed and that was fine with me. I faked my way into the job by lying about having a long list of bartending experience, which flew in the face of reason since I had not yet reached my 22nd birthday.
In early February, Lee asked me to go on a double date with his girlfriend's friend, Mary. I initially had no interest in a blind date, especially with a girl still in High School, but when he said we were going to a showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, I could not pass it up. I don't know what it is about that movie experience, but I know almost no actors who can pass up the opportunity to enjoy it whenever it is in the theater. A few years later, they released it on videotape and I have to say, that was stupid, without the audience participation it is a stupid movie....but when you lose yourself in the show, it can be really fun. So, I agreed to go. When the night arrived, I had just returned from working at a wedding and changed into more presentable clothes and Lee, Jennifer (his girlfriend) and Mary showed up. She was really not my type, she was too young, a little immature (as one would expect from a 17 year old) and just a bit tom-boyish. But, I made the most of it and we joked around, waiting for our time to head out.
Lee loved Top Gun, he lived for Top Gun. So, when Lee drove his little orange VW Rabbit, he drove it as though he were flying a fighter jet. One of his favorite moves was to accelerate in behind a car stopped at a red light if he could see the light was going to change. Then he would say, "everyone hold on," and he would swerve around the car at top speed just as the light changed. This had the thrilling effect of making me want to change my shorts, but I had been in the car with him when he had done this a number of times and it did not surprise me. What did surprise me was the tone of his voice this time...somehow I knew it was going wrong. So, on the way to Rocky Horror that night, we rear-ended a station wagon while we were going about 70 mph and they were at a dead stand still. The other car took off, but we were not so lucky. I was the only person in the car not wearing a seat belt and I flew forward with force, meeting the back of Lee's head with the front of mine. I got a bloody lip, Lee got a concussion. When I turned to look at Mary, she was bleeding profusely from a cut on her eyelid where a ring from her hand had punctured it while she was bracing for the impact. Jennifer received what are referred to as "seat belt injuries", which is much worse than it sounds. She had a bruise which extended the length of her torso diagonally across her chest. So, the only person who escaped serious injury was the only person not wearing a seat belt ... go figure.
I spent the entire night at the hospital emergency room as Mary has some surgery on her eyelid and interior eye wall (OK its called ocular cavity, but that sounds gross). A few days later, as a courtesy, I stopped by her house to check on her and was surprised when she asked me out for Valentine's day. My need to be a "good boyfriend" began to be tried out on a girl who was not my type, was too young and really wasn't that into me either. We got along well enough, didn't fight that much and a month later, when she turned 18 we were officially an item. However, in that time, I joked with Lee's girlfriend Jennifer about following us around on dates (because I saw her twice on one night out) and she promptly told Lee he could not move in with me anywhere which I thought was funny because I was Lee's roomie a year before they ever started dating. But, Lee listened to her and moved out on his own...I moved into his old room, the Master Bedroom. I had no furniture, but made so much money in cash (I had since been promoted to Banquet Captain) that I had cash in piles laying around on the floor all the time. I slept on the floor, had no light in my room at night and worked 13 shifts a week (maybe that is why Mary and I never fought...we hardly ever saw each other). It is strange to think, but true all the same, that this rebound girl who I really wasn't that into, would be the longest relationship I held until I got married. I entered a phase of life, where being an ideal boyfriend was more important to me than the actual relationship or the person with whom I was involved. It was incredibly self-centered, but at least I was concentrating on how I was perceived for once.
In early February, Lee asked me to go on a double date with his girlfriend's friend, Mary. I initially had no interest in a blind date, especially with a girl still in High School, but when he said we were going to a showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, I could not pass it up. I don't know what it is about that movie experience, but I know almost no actors who can pass up the opportunity to enjoy it whenever it is in the theater. A few years later, they released it on videotape and I have to say, that was stupid, without the audience participation it is a stupid movie....but when you lose yourself in the show, it can be really fun. So, I agreed to go. When the night arrived, I had just returned from working at a wedding and changed into more presentable clothes and Lee, Jennifer (his girlfriend) and Mary showed up. She was really not my type, she was too young, a little immature (as one would expect from a 17 year old) and just a bit tom-boyish. But, I made the most of it and we joked around, waiting for our time to head out.
Lee loved Top Gun, he lived for Top Gun. So, when Lee drove his little orange VW Rabbit, he drove it as though he were flying a fighter jet. One of his favorite moves was to accelerate in behind a car stopped at a red light if he could see the light was going to change. Then he would say, "everyone hold on," and he would swerve around the car at top speed just as the light changed. This had the thrilling effect of making me want to change my shorts, but I had been in the car with him when he had done this a number of times and it did not surprise me. What did surprise me was the tone of his voice this time...somehow I knew it was going wrong. So, on the way to Rocky Horror that night, we rear-ended a station wagon while we were going about 70 mph and they were at a dead stand still. The other car took off, but we were not so lucky. I was the only person in the car not wearing a seat belt and I flew forward with force, meeting the back of Lee's head with the front of mine. I got a bloody lip, Lee got a concussion. When I turned to look at Mary, she was bleeding profusely from a cut on her eyelid where a ring from her hand had punctured it while she was bracing for the impact. Jennifer received what are referred to as "seat belt injuries", which is much worse than it sounds. She had a bruise which extended the length of her torso diagonally across her chest. So, the only person who escaped serious injury was the only person not wearing a seat belt ... go figure.
I spent the entire night at the hospital emergency room as Mary has some surgery on her eyelid and interior eye wall (OK its called ocular cavity, but that sounds gross). A few days later, as a courtesy, I stopped by her house to check on her and was surprised when she asked me out for Valentine's day. My need to be a "good boyfriend" began to be tried out on a girl who was not my type, was too young and really wasn't that into me either. We got along well enough, didn't fight that much and a month later, when she turned 18 we were officially an item. However, in that time, I joked with Lee's girlfriend Jennifer about following us around on dates (because I saw her twice on one night out) and she promptly told Lee he could not move in with me anywhere which I thought was funny because I was Lee's roomie a year before they ever started dating. But, Lee listened to her and moved out on his own...I moved into his old room, the Master Bedroom. I had no furniture, but made so much money in cash (I had since been promoted to Banquet Captain) that I had cash in piles laying around on the floor all the time. I slept on the floor, had no light in my room at night and worked 13 shifts a week (maybe that is why Mary and I never fought...we hardly ever saw each other). It is strange to think, but true all the same, that this rebound girl who I really wasn't that into, would be the longest relationship I held until I got married. I entered a phase of life, where being an ideal boyfriend was more important to me than the actual relationship or the person with whom I was involved. It was incredibly self-centered, but at least I was concentrating on how I was perceived for once.
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