So, after asking the big question and getting the answer I had hoped for, we began to plan our big wedding. You have to remember that I was an actor-waiter at the time and had no real means to support my wife and I, much less the means to afford a wedding. But, kids are stupid and all that mattered to us was that we were in love.
Our first decision was who to choose for the minister, and usually that person would be doing the pre-marital counseling as well. Neither of us wanted to choose the College Pastor for personal reasons; I had a friendship with the High School Pastor but he was out of town and we needed to book the date; The Counseling and Junior High Pastors were either not that kind of Pastor or too green to handle our nuptials; the Music Pastor and Senior Pastor were close personal friends of Cathy's Mom and that left us with the Family Pastor. We didn't know him, had no connection to him and that was what we were looking for. He had some similarity in looks to Michael Landon, so we called him our little pastor on the prairie. His name was Dave.
Dave started us out with a financial review, since this partnering of our lives would include the mixing of our assets. It didn't take long. I had no bank accounts and only clothes to my name, I was house-sitting at the time and had no permanent place to live. Cathy had about $600 in a checking account, a Visa with a credit limit of $400 and all of her furniture from her childhood room. Yeah, we were living in style. The next thing Dave got into was Generational Sin. This was the first time I had ever heard the concept, but man it is a real thing. Our next three or four sessions were like group therapy and Cathy would cry for hours afterward. We were undaunted, though, by either our lack of means or my familial history of lack of commitment and we headed into our wedded bliss.
As a word of caution, or perhaps foreknowledge, to all couples with impending nuptials out in the blogosphere, the engagement period is one of the most trying times with your soon-to-be spouse that you will encounter for some time. I have heard the same story from many people and I believe it stems from the subconscious realization that forever is about to happen and your inner brain begins to doubt your ability to decide. We got through it with only a few bruised egos and in November of that year, we rented a 1 bedroom apartment in downtown Los Gatos (although only I moved in for about 5 weeks prior to the wedding). I had chosen Paul to be my best man and had filled my groomsmen with either old friends or new friends with whom I did not have a long relationship: Mark (from High School); Allan (Former Roomie) and Steve (Newer friend who I thought would be a friend for life, but I have only spoken with him twice since 1992 - haven't spoken with Allan except maybe 4 times in that period). Paul arranged my bachelor party at a Teppanyaki restaurant (think Benihana, but less traditional) and an evening of indoor paintball. I think he may have had trouble finding people who wanted to come, because I seem to remember some "fillers" in there to make it look like I had more friends.
I had a decent job, an apartment to call my own and was heading into one of the more important days of my life. All was looking okay.
