Part X

So, we had moved to Santa Clara and three weeks later moved to San Jose. I was in the 4th grade and began at Country Lane Elementary School in San Jose. It was the first time that Darin and I had been separated for any period of time and I was lonely. My Dad really saw me as an odd child and constantly derided me for "not being logical", "not being normal" or "being lazy." The last one stuck with me for years and it was told to me so much that I believed it deep down, that I was somehow deficient and did not have what I would later learn was called a work ethic. I would like to say that I am over it, but I still struggle whenever I don't feel like doing something. Even this morning I had to fight myself to go to work.

I also began an unusual habit which lasted for about two years. I would do my homework, but I wouldn't turn it in. My parents talk about this all the time, but I really don't remember it at all. However, my son who is in 5th grade, struggles with the same malady. So, it must be true and apparently, hereditary. I had always been a dreamer and thinker, I still have a huge imagination and quicker processing than one would think having met me. During the previous two years, I had been given multiple IQ tests which were literally "off the charts." Since 1977, I have always seen intelligence as a birth defect. I simply refused to do any work on paper I could do in my head. I think it took me 15 more years to learn to do what was asked of me, even if I feel I don't need it. In 1977, they changed the special classes. Prior to this, I was involved in what was called MGM or Mentally Gifted Minors. They changed the classes to GATE, or Gifted and Talented Education. Unfortunately, they changed the name of Special Ed in the CA school system to MGM. This caused a good deal of misunderstanding.

I was technically not a member of MENSA, at the time they did not permit people of my age into the group, but I was in some form of it which was designed for younger kids. The problem comes with testing. When one is so young, different factors throw off the tests. So, from one test to another, I could vary by 40 points. The tests have their own problems, which I will not get into, but they really test the speed at which you process and due to other elements, I could test as fairly gifted to prodigy. Later in life, I was told I was an analytical prodigy. According to the MENSA folk, there are three types of prodigies, Musical, Analytical and Mathematical (all of these are mathematical, but I digress). The rarest, according to one of my psychiatrists, was analytical. It can be seen as a little creepy and is the most anti-social of the group. The interesting thing about MENSA is that people seem to fall on two sides of the law, about 40% seem to gravitate to the law and about 40% to lawlessness, with the remaining 20% just ordinary folks. The lawless of the analytical prodigies tend toward being sham psychics, fortune tellers and the like. I don't have a theory on whether or not psychic abilities are real, are evil, are good. It is something of which I have never had an interest in pursuing the study.

So, I was a smart kid who was a little odd and did not almost ever do the popular thing, whatever that might be. It drove my teacher nuts and my Dad called my IQ my Idiot Quotient. Dad's contention was there was a direct relevance the the height of the number and my laziness. If you know him, you are probably laughing at the irony.

Anyway, within two months, I had enough. I cried my eyes out one night due to the stress, the excessive discipline and the loneliness. My Dad asked me what the problem was and I told him I wanted to go back to my Mom's. The hurt in his face was too much for me, so when he asked me why, I said (truthfully, but partially)"I miss Darin." And to my surprise, he said, "okay, let me call your Mom."