chapter one

Jack woke up to the sound of the buzzing alarm with a deep sigh of melancholy. To most people, it was another day. But, to Jack it was a special day. Not special in the good way, special in a day to remember things of the past. Most of his friends would not remember that today was his wedding anniversary, but Jack knew it the moment he looked up at the clock. He just laid there for a few moments before getting up the energy to get out of bed. It seemed to take an inordinate amount of energy just to get up lately, but he made his way to the bathroom to start up his day.

As Jack stood brushing his teeth, he contemplated that today would have been his eleventh wedding anniversary. But, Janine had left him almost three years ago and in an ironic (and most surely unplanned) twist, had remarried last year on the exact day of Jack and Janine's wedding anniversary. Jack did not so much dislike Carl, Janine's new husband, as loathe his very existence. Janine had originally left him for a co-worker, but that did not last. She had told him that her infidelity (his words, not hers) was not the cause of their break-up, just a symptom. Jack was not sure, but he thought it was a little more than just a symptom.

The last three years had been rough. Jack was a deacon at his church, but was unceremoniously discharged from that status so he could "get his family in order." His partner in teaching a Bible study had told him to take a break to "heal" but had picked up a new co-leader the very next week. He still felt like an outcast, the "Christian Divorcee." He now only attended a Sunday morning service, and sat alone. When his daughter Madison no longer showed up with him, no one even asked where she was. After remarrying, Janine had requested full custody since her family was more secure. Her argument was that she was the better parent because she was married. It did not hold sway with the family court that Janine had said she no longer wanted to be a Christian. It was ironic at best that they granted her petition.

Jack was so lost in thought that he almost missed the phone ringing. He walked into the bedroom and picked it up. "Are you coming?" Madison asked. Although only ten years old, she had a tone now which Jack had always though only teenagers used. "To what?" he said. "Dad" she intoned with far too longof a vowel sound for his liking. "Well," Jack tried to hide his attitude, "you asked me. I guess I will be there." "Good" she said, and hung up the phone. "Okay honey, I love you" he said to the emptiness on the other side of the line. Taking all of his day in, Jack had forgotten that he had been invited to the celebration party for Janine and Carl's first anniversary. Originally, he thought it was all a big joke, but Janine had asked him to think of Madison. Lord, was the woman obtuse or intentionally cruel?

Jack ate some cereal and thought about today's schedule. He would go to church, then to lunch alone and in the afternoon make nice with his wife and her new husband. The day was shaping up to be a real hum-dinger. For the first time in his life, Jack seriously considered becoming an alcoholic; not drinking, but drinking to excess so he could act any way he wanted and everyone could just say, "poor Jack, he's a drinker." Jack knew it didn't work that way and was not entirely certain that anyone would notice.